I'm Sorry
by Aine O'Shannon
Summary: Harry takes a moment to remember his lost love.


**A/N:** This is my first Harry/Luna, so I really had no idea what I was doing when I was writing this. It's a simple one-shot, and just a small idea that came up in my head that I wasn't expecting. Hopefully it's okay.

"Harry, have you seen Albus's trousers?" The man in question turned to his wife in the doorway, mind returning from its wandering at her voice. Robes? Oh, right. His son needed to get dressed.

"No. I haven't. I thought you had gotten everything ready last night?" The redheaded woman ran a hand through her hair, and Harry could guess that she was becoming more and more like her mother as she grew older. Too many things to do, and not enough time to do them.

"I'll check upstairs then. James may have hidden them." She disappeared from the room again, leaving Harry once again to sit in his small study. He looked down at the worn _Quibbler_ magazine that he had pulled out of his desk, a memento he often told his wife, of their friendship with Luna Lovegood Scamander. She never opened the pages of the magazine, thankfully, which held newspaper clippings and letters. Letters he'd never sent to the younger woman.

He flipped open to the first few pages, finding the familiar newspaper clipping of Luna's wedding. He had been there, he remembered. Ginny had been her maid of honor, and he was more than happy to go and see the eccentric young woman. He placed the clipping to the side, and found the photograph underneath. He had asked Rolf Scamander if he might have a dance with his new bride. Luna's eyes were alight with joy at the suggestion, but she tried not to show it. He watched in the picture as he spun her around the dance floor. It was quite obvious in the picture how happy she was. In the background, he could make out Ginny laughing with Hermione, thankfully not noticing the large smile on his face.

He flipped a few more pages. The next clipping was a picture of Luna, holding the hands of her two boys, Lorcan and Lysander. They were the spitting image of their father, with the exception of Luna's eyes. She had sent him the picture back when they had taken a trip to Greenland that they had invited him to. He had been unable to go, as he had so much work to do. He'd been sorely disappointed in finding out that Rolf had left halfway through the trip for something work-related. Spending the rest of that week with Luna and the boys would have given them the chance to stop hiding.

The next couple of pages held pictures of the boys, with one or two of simply Luna. One of them, he paused to look at. It was of the two of them during Luna's graduation from Hogwarts. He'd come up to her and hugged her, twirling her around in congratulations. It was something simple, not meant to mean anything.

It had been the beginning of his downfall.

He remembered her in his arms, so small and frail. Ginny was unlike that in any way, having grown up playing sports with her boys. Luna, on the other hand, was delicate in body, but far from it in mind. She'd fit so perfectly in his arms. And when he'd pulled back, she had that look in her eyes. That look that knew exactly what he was thinking. He wanted to kiss her then. Somehow, Ginny had disappeared from his mind, and it was filled with Luna. As they celebrated her class's graduation, his eyes kept wandering to her. Ginny never noticed. She was spending most of the time saying good-bye to teachers and classmates. Hermione and Ron had been there to distract him from approaching the young woman again, at least for half of the night. When they left early, he had nothing to do but stand and watch as his future wife played the part of the social butterfly.

Until he spotted Luna leaving the Great Hall.

He followed, wanting to know what she was doing. Was she leaving without saying goodbye?

She led him to a dark corridor, and he realized she'd been hoping he'd follow her the entire time. He came up, practically on top of her, and wrapped his arms around her waist. _I'm sorry_, he'd murmured into her ear, before backing her into the corridor wall and kissing her. She responded with the same fervor, the same passion, that it surprised him. It felt as if it was going to last forever, and honestly, he really didn't care. His hands were all over her, running over the curves hidden beneath her baggy robes. He could feel her hands exploring his body as well, and he didn't think he'd ever felt this way kissing anyone. Granted, the only two others he had ever kissed were Cho and Ginny, but it was still unbelievable the way Luna kissed him back.

Ginny had almost caught them, he remembered. Luna had heard footsteps and had pushed him away. He barely had enough time to compose himself before his girlfriend walked around the corner. She asked what they were doing, and Luna easily slipped a lie about seeing a cat and dragging Harry into the whole expedition of finding it. Harry felt silly standing there like an idiot, but Ginny thought nothing of it, and the three of them returned to the party.

Since then, they'd had similar encounters. Every Christmas at the Burrow, they'd always managed to sneak away. Sometimes to talk, and sometimes for something a little more. It was frustrating for him, to be in love with someone more than he was in love with his own girlfriend. He hated it, but at the same time, he couldn't get enough of it.

He slammed the magazine closed. Ginny appeared in the doorway again, holding his son's trousers in her hand. "Are you ready to go, Harry? We're going to be late."

"Yeah. How about the kids?"

"Well, I just have to give Albus his pants, and then we can leave." He stood up.

"I'll be out in a minute. I just have to owl something." She nodded and left, calling for the children. He picked up the magazine, debating for who knows how many times in his life whether or not to throw it away. He leaned towards the trash can, but it never made it. He opened the drawer and slipped it inside.

"Dad, James is teasing me again!" Albus said, hurrying down the hall to meet his father coming out of the study.

"Albus Severus, you're thirteen years old." Ginny appeared from behind him, tossing him his pants. Harry's lips twitched into a smile when they hit him in the face. "Honestly, sometimes I swear you're still five."

"Now isn't the time to be arguing with your brother, Albus. Finished getting dressed so we can get going." The boy grumbled, but bounced down the hall to his room so he could change. Harry continued down the stairs to wait for his family there. As usual, Lily, the only punctual one, was sitting at the kitchen table. She was flipping through the _Daily Prophet _while she waited. Sometimes he wondered if maybe his youngest child had gotten his friend Hermione's brains. After all, she had been reading the paper for so many years, and had managed to be sorted into Ravenclaw, the only one to not find herself in Gryffindor.

"Are the boys ready?" she asked, not looking up from the story she was reading.

"Almost. Your poor mother is all in a tizzy. Those boys really do give her a run for her mother." Lily cracked a smile.

"I'm quite sure Grandma went through the same thing, having so many children herself."

"Yes, I'm sure you're right." At that moment, Ginny came into the kitchen, being trailed by the last two members of the Potter family.

"Finally. All of you are ready?" Lily folded up the newspaper and stood.

"Yes, Mum. Can we go now? I really do wish to get this over with." Harry couldn't agree more.

"Alright then. Everyone to the fireplace. We're going to Floo to the Burrow, and then we'll head to the cemetery from there. I knew we were going to be late." she muttered as she made her way to the living room. "I just knew it…" Harry shook his head, following his family as they shuffled out the door. He caught a glance at the newspaper on the table, and smiled at the best news he had seen in days. _Rolf Scamander Found Guilty in Wife's Murder._

"Harry! Come on, or we'll be later than we already are!"

"Coming!" he shouted back. His reached out, running his fingers over the pale face of his long lost love. He felt his heart clench, knowing that the next time he was going to see her was in a casket. He removed his hand from her face, feeling a tear run down his cheek. His eyes scanned the article, catching sight of a small paragraph. A paragraph he had written to Luna, just as a small congratulations to the birth of her children, but it was signed, '_Love always.'_ Rolf had found it. Rolf had killed her. She had died because of him.

"Harry!" Ginny called again. He winced.

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Just having a…a moment." He looked back at the picture, feeling as if he were going to cry. The picture-Luna smiled dreamily at the camera. He choked back a sob. "I'm sorry." he murmured. "I'm sorry." He left the kitchen to hurry and appease his wife, but the only thing he could think of were the mistakes he'd made. He'd fallen in love with two women, and never told the right one. He'd been careless, and gotten her killed. But the main mistake he had made...was that he'd never told her how much he loved her.


End file.
